my minor marital meltdown

Hey folks! So, our "Big Day" came and went, and after spending a week in perpetual and glorious relaxation, the Mr. and I are now back home getting settled in to...well...the rest of our lives and such. More pictures to come but for now, I'll just say that it was amazing and perfect and just as much of a whirlwind as they tell you it's going to be -- and it definitely would not have been possible without a lot of help from incredible family and friends.

However, now that it's over, I'm sensing the large task of just what it means to be a wife. As such...I have a rather ridiculous story to share (and please feel free to comment if you've ever had a similar experience so I feel less weird).

The day after Strider and I got back, we talked through our schedules for the week and discussed some food ideas and preferences. It's been a big topic for us since I enjoy cooking but rarely have time for it and during my single life often took a forage-what-you-can mentality. I want to actually prepare meals for us, so with a list in hand Monday after work, I headed to Walmart. Oddly enough, I was excited by the prospect of shopping for two, even at Walmart. Methodically, I went through each aisle. Slowly and sneakily, the excitement faded and began to transform into doubt. Somewhere around the time I'd spent 10 minutes staring at boxes of oatmeal, trying to determine which kind he actually likes, I started to lose it. I briefly considered and abandoned the idea of calling his mom (that's right, I actually almost called my husband's mom to ask about oatmeal!). 

Finally, I chose and moved on to the register. Trapped in a cattle queue and surrounded by beef jerky and overpriced magazines, my first marital meltdown overcame me. Suddenly, the contents of my cart became the yardstick by which my worth as a wife was measured. What if I spent too much, what if he didn't like it, what if I didn't get everything I needed, and worst of all...what if he hated the oatmeal?!?! I was literally on the verge of tears with seconds counting down till I had to rapidly reorganize everything on the conveyor belt moving towards the grumpy cashier (who already looked miffed seeing my reusable bags). All I could think was, "I really need my mom!"

Desperate for a way out, I awkwardly stuck up a conversation about Whoppers with the woman behind me. My hands started shaking as my turn was up. Going against my pride, I took a deep breath and looked at the two sassy ladies in line and said, "Can I just confess something a bit ridiculous right now? I am totally freaking out about buying groceries!" After I explained the newlywed thing, they both smiled and said kind things to reassure me. One even pointed out that how strongly I cared was probably a testament to just how good of a wife I am probably going to be. Hallelujah, thank you Jesus for providing wisdom even in the unlikeliest of places...Walmart.

I took a deep breath, paid, and walked confidently to the car thinking about just how great people can sometimes be if you are desperate brave enough to let them in. Naturally, I told Strider the whole story when I got home and he laughed a lot and told me I was being ridiculous. I'm sure this is just the first of many marital meltdowns to come, but it will forever be a landmark as the first. 

Any other wives out there have a similar early-marriage experience?

PS - I totally did pick the right oatmeal! Huzzah!


  1. Oh, girl. I'm so thankful those kind women shared with you those truths. You ARE a wonderful wife and it is a little scary at first. I've had my fair share of meltdowns. A big one happened around Christmas time when he showed no interest in decorating the tree with me which meant a lot to me. Luckily, we both learned from the experience and grew from it. I think that is what happens a lot at the beginning. We are still learning to get to know each other. It's okay if we mess up sometimes, so don't beat yourself up if you get the wrong oatmeal. ;) He'll get over it because he loves you more than oatmeal. :)

  2. We all learn to blend our lives together and after 44 years we're still learning, but it gets easier and easier as the years go by. A study on personality types opened a big door of understanding for us.
    I remember the BIG deal about whether a window stayed open all night of whether we squeezed or rolled up the tooth paste tube. Life is precious and we accept our differences. It's easy to talk about them because of the unconditional love we feel for one another.

  3. You are adorable and so is your sweet Hubby! i love you both!

  4. Ha! Calling Jordan's mom to ask about oatmeal is totally something I would do. We're still figuring out what each other likes to eat... 3 years later!

  5. Fortunately, grocery drama only goes as far as the bill in our house, but after sending my husband to the store to attempt grocery shopping on his "budget," I won the battle, and he doesn't panic when I go over a little bit...because he knows good meals are coming his way and that he can't do it any better. :)

    HOWEVER, we have found that when we have time to go grocery shopping together, we stay on track way better.

    When we were engaged, I was fortunate enough to live in the same apartment complex as Matt, so I already knew what kind of food he didn't like as he'd often come over for lunch or dinner.

    Next time you're stuck and at a loss, just give him a call/text at the store. :) Or when you're putting the grocery list together, run by the week's meals with your husband (or ask if he wants to add anything) before you make the trip. You'll get the hang of it. :)


Thanks so much for your comment! I really love reading them and look forward to hearing what you have to say!