An Open Letter to My Husband After Our First Year of Marriage:
It feels ridiculous to think that exactly one year ago, we were in the mountains celebrating our second day as man and wife. In many ways it feels much further in the past, and in others, it feels like no time at all. And truthfully, as fun as our wedding day and honeymoon were, they don’t begin to hold a candle to how incredible the year following them has been. As discussed on multiple occasions, we’ve certainly packed a lot of life into our first year together, including but not limited to: my sister’s wedding, my mom leaving on a cross-country adventure, leaving my hometown and moving back to yours, as well as multiple job changes. It’s been a banner year, to be sure.
In the past year, I have laughed more, smiled more, and watched-minutes-tick-by-till-I-could-leave-work-to-come-home-to-you more than I thought imaginable. I have also learned A LOT. However, my expectations of what those lessons would be and what they have been are very different. I always thought the hard part of marriage would be letting go of the things about your spouse that drive you crazy, learning to live together, and knowing when to take space for yourself. In reality, I have seen several much larger truths come to light, and in many ways, they’re more about me than you. The biggest lessons I’ve learned during year numero uno are as follows:
- Choosing to submit and agreeing can be different things. When God calls wives to submit to their husbands, there isn’t subtext saying that you also have to agree with them. To me, this much-debated verse means me choosing to love you and trust you, most especially when mutual agreement isn’t on the horizon. And knowing that in the end, choosing to honor you as the head of our home is more important than taking a stand about being right.
- Recognizing that women and men see “Things That Need To Be Done” in very different ways. Just because you may not see it, doesn’t mean you aren’t happy to do it. Most importantly, if I really need/want help and don’t ask, I then relinquish the right to expect mind-reading on your part and being dumpy about undone tasks later.
- Lastly, that I am an incredibly selfish, impatient person and that although I will always be flawed and saved only by His grace, I want to be a better version of myself for you, as your wife, your best friend, and your roommate. Huge marriage lesson there: learning to put up with your quicks and bodily functions is secondary to me recognizing that I am the one who needs to be better.
People say that the first year of marriage is often the hardest. Though I’m sure there are lots of different reasons why that is so frequently said, I’d be pretty jazzed if this was the hardest year we ever have to face. I recognize that that won’t be the case, but if I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that I can face any obstacle with you by my side.
You have brought so much joy and love into my life and my daily prayer is that I can continue growing into the best possible version of myself for you and for us. You amaze me and I can’t imagine my life without you. Thank you for all the leadership, laughter, and of course, love that you’ve brought to our marriage this year. And thank you for your patience and encouragement as we challenge each other to always keep growing. I so look forward to a lifetime with you!
- your sarah
Fun project sidenote: I decided to start an anniversary quilt for Strider and I. Each year for our anniversary, I will make one quilt block representing the biggest thing that happened during that year. For this year, I appliquéd the state of PA with the name of our new hometown. By my calculations, I should be able to connect all the squares into a nice wall hanging for our 25th anniversary! Talk about a long-term project huh? However, it will be so fun to look back at them all when it's said and done! (sorry for the shadowy pic)