However, now that it's over, I'm sensing the large task of just what it means to be a wife. As such...I have a rather ridiculous story to share (and please feel free to comment if you've ever had a similar experience so I feel less weird).
The day after Strider and I got back, we talked through our schedules for the week and discussed some food ideas and preferences. It's been a big topic for us since I enjoy cooking but rarely have time for it and during my single life often took a forage-what-you-can mentality. I want to actually prepare meals for us, so with a list in hand Monday after work, I headed to Walmart. Oddly enough, I was excited by the prospect of shopping for two, even at Walmart. Methodically, I went through each aisle. Slowly and sneakily, the excitement faded and began to transform into doubt. Somewhere around the time I'd spent 10 minutes staring at boxes of oatmeal, trying to determine which kind he actually likes, I started to lose it. I briefly considered and abandoned the idea of calling his mom (that's right, I actually almost called my husband's mom to ask about oatmeal!).
Finally, I chose and moved on to the register. Trapped in a cattle queue and surrounded by beef jerky and overpriced magazines, my first marital meltdown overcame me. Suddenly, the contents of my cart became the yardstick by which my worth as a wife was measured. What if I spent too much, what if he didn't like it, what if I didn't get everything I needed, and worst of all...what if he hated the oatmeal?!?! I was literally on the verge of tears with seconds counting down till I had to rapidly reorganize everything on the conveyor belt moving towards the grumpy cashier (who already looked miffed seeing my reusable bags). All I could think was, "I really need my mom!"
Desperate for a way out, I awkwardly stuck up a conversation about Whoppers with the woman behind me. My hands started shaking as my turn was up. Going against my pride, I took a deep breath and looked at the two sassy ladies in line and said, "Can I just confess something a bit ridiculous right now? I am totally freaking out about buying groceries!" After I explained the newlywed thing, they both smiled and said kind things to reassure me. One even pointed out that how strongly I cared was probably a testament to just how good of a wife I am probably going to be. Hallelujah, thank you Jesus for providing wisdom even in the unlikeliest of places...Walmart.
I took a deep breath, paid, and walked confidently to the car thinking about just how great people can sometimes be if you are
Any other wives out there have a similar early-marriage experience?
PS - I totally did pick the right oatmeal! Huzzah!