nuptial nonsense

This post is about wedding things I don't understand or feel are completely unnecessary. It is not intended to offend or to suggest that our planning choices are better than others. If you disagree, that's totally fine, but if not, maybe you'll join me in just asking, "Why!?"

Things I've found to be wedding nonsense:

The 3-month-salary ring rule. If you're rolling in the dough, sure, go crazy--but for all the guys out there that aren't: your girl will love anything you give her (or should). It's about the promise, not the ring. This is the beginning of your life together - don't start it off in debt. Plus, there are beautiful, totally reasonable options out there. Try Gordon's online.

Escort Cards/Place Cards/Seating Charts. So much work, stress, and extra printing costs! Trust me, I know families can get complicated, but really now...if guests aren't grown up enough to find their own seats and play nice for a couple hours, well, maybe they should just sit with the kids or stay home.

The garter toss. To each their own I guess, but to me, this is always awkward. The idea of a husband creeping under tons of layers of his new wife's dress to pull out essentially a piece of underwear that he is going to throw at his friends...uncomfortable to even think about.

Unrealistic bridal party expectations. Since getting engaged, I've heard all kinds of crazy stories about how bridal party members have been treated when participating in weddings for family and friends. Between excessive costs, unfair travel expectations, and "all about the bride" mentalities, can we cool it already? These are your best friends...they love you...please don't make them wish you harm over outlandish, self-obsessed requests. (To my incredible ladies, please throw a shoe at me if I get crazy!)

Alcohol. Whether or not your family and friends drink, bars are a wallet-black-hole for weddings. And why introduce all the drama that can come from including this as part of your special day? No one wants a drunken speech giver. Thankfully, it isn't an issue for us.

Registry complications. Registries are a beautiful thing. This way, guests know they are getting the happy couple something they actually want...and that is awesome. But why do they have to be so complicated? Between choosing what you want, reading reviews to make sure it is a quality pick, choosing where to register for it, and checking the registries periodically to make sure your picks don't become discontinued before the big day....whew! Complicated. Plus, add all the people who just get you gift cards--a kind and helpful gift, but bittersweet because it makes all that registry bother for naught.

The costs. All the costs! This is an obvious one. Go as simple as you like, but inevitably, you're still going to end up spending more than you feel like you need to. And it is pretty evident that vendors play to the emotional bride, trying to coerce you into "needing" something you don't or scaling things up and out of your budget. Admittedly, it's hard not to get wrapped up in a tornado of tulle, tapas, and transportation, but smart ladies...stick to your instincts on what is really worth it. It is just one day. Preparing for your marriage should be a much higher priority than plans for the wedding.

There are lots more, but these are the ones that have become most clear during our planning thus far. What did you nix for your "big day" that no one missed?

Also, just for fun, here's a partial sneak peek at our invites. I'm in love with them!


  1. Oh heck-to-the-yesh!
    As I've been watching my friends, and various other tangentials, get married, and stress out over having "EVERY SINGLE EXPECTED THING" in place, I'm like "Whoa, chillax. What are you doing? This isn't even YOU, so why are you including it on one of the biggest days of your life?"
    They never have a better answer than "Because it's my WEDDING, duh!"
    hahahaha ...

    I love your balanced approach :o) And yes, weddings are great -- but let's have them express US, and really it's a celebration of your new life. The marriage, now that's the biggie. Kudos to you <3

    ps: Lovin' the snowflakes!

  2. your post could have been much shorter:
    "This is the beginning of your life together - don't start it off in debt."
    'nuff said. ;)

    most of your points i agree with; others i could go either way with—but i'm totally on board with your overarching theme: this day isn't about _you_; it's about celebrating with family and friends a promise that _you and the one you love_ made to each other...how 'bout concentrating all that energy and effort into the days that will fall _after_ "the big day," yeah?

    i'm excited to be a part of your celebration, sarah, and it sounds like it's going to be perfect and beautiful. :)


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