girl's dress tutorial - aka no clue what I'm doing

In contrast to Tuesday's easy-peasy DIY Boppy Cover tutorial, I now present an infinitely more complicated sewing project with no real instructions because I improvised a lot and have almost no idea how to actually make clothes. 

Apparel sewing is truly an art unto itself. All I can say is that although I am very happy with my final results, I certainly don't envy women throughout history who were Target-deprived.

First, the fabric...so cute and just sitting there all smug, calling out to me at Hancock Fabrics saying, "Wouldn't your niece look adorable in us?" Buy a bit and a pattern so you can pretend you're following the rules. (I should mention that my final product only shares like a 75% resemblance to what the pattern actually calls for)

Open up your pattern, become daunted by what you've decided to do. Spend gobs of time reading tiny instructions and cutting out tissue paper pieces. Accidentally tear some, curse, and watch your ceiling fan turn all your hard work into craft floor fodder. Tissue paper -- who decided that was a reasonable material for patterning?

Next, cut all the pieces out as best you can, pinning everything together so you don't lose bits. Realize you didn't buy liner fabric, go get some, make time to pre-shrink it since it missed out on your earlier mass fabric laundry cycle. Iron everything, cut liner pieces, pin some more. Struggle and doubt your competence for a few hours while constructing the top piece and straps. Make a big mess and spend an hour getting to know your seam ripper...intimately. Finally finish the top and "drop tha mic" because you just can't sew any more till tomorrow.

Get your Rocky face on and re-approach the craft room. Make some bias tape out of the shoulder strap fabric because you're a masochist with mild OCD. Attach the bias tape to the now-assembled skirt and it's liner. Behold the glory of top and bottom pieces both being finished.

Use a basting stitch to gather the skirt folds. Pin everything together like a madwoman and sew it all together. Immediately realize you forgot to remove the basting threads and take a moment of silence to honor them being lost forever, secretly buried in the hem.

Frustrate yourself further by adding a zipper without any kind of zipper attachment for your machine. Use a few hand-stitches to cover up mistakes installing the zipper. 

At this point, you're so freaking pleased with yourself, you add some decorative buttons to the front just to prove that you, and not the dress, are still the one in charge. Put that bad boy on a hanger and then dance around till your husband tells you that he's proud but a little worried about you. 

Final step: Wrap it, gift it, and play it cool while they freak out that "you actually made this!!!" all the while committing to making clothes only in the most dire of future circumstances.