nuptial nonsense

This post is about wedding things I don't understand or feel are completely unnecessary. It is not intended to offend or to suggest that our planning choices are better than others. If you disagree, that's totally fine, but if not, maybe you'll join me in just asking, "Why!?"

Things I've found to be wedding nonsense:

The 3-month-salary ring rule. If you're rolling in the dough, sure, go crazy--but for all the guys out there that aren't: your girl will love anything you give her (or should). It's about the promise, not the ring. This is the beginning of your life together - don't start it off in debt. Plus, there are beautiful, totally reasonable options out there. Try Gordon's online.

Escort Cards/Place Cards/Seating Charts. So much work, stress, and extra printing costs! Trust me, I know families can get complicated, but really now...if guests aren't grown up enough to find their own seats and play nice for a couple hours, well, maybe they should just sit with the kids or stay home.

The garter toss. To each their own I guess, but to me, this is always awkward. The idea of a husband creeping under tons of layers of his new wife's dress to pull out essentially a piece of underwear that he is going to throw at his friends...uncomfortable to even think about.

Unrealistic bridal party expectations. Since getting engaged, I've heard all kinds of crazy stories about how bridal party members have been treated when participating in weddings for family and friends. Between excessive costs, unfair travel expectations, and "all about the bride" mentalities, can we cool it already? These are your best friends...they love you...please don't make them wish you harm over outlandish, self-obsessed requests. (To my incredible ladies, please throw a shoe at me if I get crazy!)

Alcohol. Whether or not your family and friends drink, bars are a wallet-black-hole for weddings. And why introduce all the drama that can come from including this as part of your special day? No one wants a drunken speech giver. Thankfully, it isn't an issue for us.

Registry complications. Registries are a beautiful thing. This way, guests know they are getting the happy couple something they actually want...and that is awesome. But why do they have to be so complicated? Between choosing what you want, reading reviews to make sure it is a quality pick, choosing where to register for it, and checking the registries periodically to make sure your picks don't become discontinued before the big day....whew! Complicated. Plus, add all the people who just get you gift cards--a kind and helpful gift, but bittersweet because it makes all that registry bother for naught.

The costs. All the costs! This is an obvious one. Go as simple as you like, but inevitably, you're still going to end up spending more than you feel like you need to. And it is pretty evident that vendors play to the emotional bride, trying to coerce you into "needing" something you don't or scaling things up and out of your budget. Admittedly, it's hard not to get wrapped up in a tornado of tulle, tapas, and transportation, but smart ladies...stick to your instincts on what is really worth it. It is just one day. Preparing for your marriage should be a much higher priority than plans for the wedding.

There are lots more, but these are the ones that have become most clear during our planning thus far. What did you nix for your "big day" that no one missed?


Also, just for fun, here's a partial sneak peek at our invites. I'm in love with them!

say no to the expectations

I have a dress. You know, the big, important, white kind that you see in pictures for the rest of your life. The kind you feel endless anxiety over because you have to make sure that it's perfect. Brides-to-be are expected to pour over magazines staring hungrily at glossy photos of stick-thin models pretending to be blissfully happy, learn the names of a thousand designers who exist in a fashion-centric world completely apart from a normal-person-reality, and then be willing to choose between a kidney or your first born to pay for it all. And on top of all that pressure, there's the ever-elusive magic moment when you see yourself in the "right dress" for the first time and you start to cry, your mom cries, your sister cries, your cousin cries, and twinkling confetti and rainbows burst forth on the horizon as a cherub trumpets this momentous event...and everyone knows....knows it's the dress.

Well, excuse me, but I call major BS.

I'm no expert on bridal fashion (obviously) but I have seen/read enough to know that when I was two bridal shops and nearly 20 dresses in with no tears or magic, I was completely disheartened. 

Not only did I feel I was wasting everyone else's time, but I also had spent entirely too much of the day in my underwear in front of strangers - I mean, can we talk about modesty in a bridal fitting room for a minute, please. Sorry future-mother-in-law, I wasn't planning to get to know you that well just yet! Regardless, after diving through a literal sea of tulle and satin, we narrowed it down to 3 dresses. All pretty, my size, and reasonably affordable (as much as a wedding dress can be, anyways). But still, no magic.


I was overwhelmed by a sense of dread and dashed hopes because everyone knows, if you don't cry, it can't be the right one. And then, it struck me: what's the deal with all these crazy expectations anyways? I get that this is the "most important day of your life" and that the dress will be in pictures forever, but frankly, I think that's trumped up, Say Yes to the Dress, crap.

Find a dress you feel beautiful in and move on. If you're looking at your wedding pictures ten years down the road and all you can see is a dress instead of the amazing man you've just spent the last ten years with, well, you need a change of perspective, not wardrobe. 

This mentality may go completely against my romantic sensibilities, but the bottom line is that it is just a dress. One dress. And no matter who designed it, or what you paid for it, you will be stunning -- because you're a bride standing before her best friend as you covenant your lives together.

And if you're like me and the "magic moment" isn't there, don't freak out or feel disheartened. It doesn't mean it's the wrong dress, that you should keep looking, or that you should spend far more money than you have to try to find that impossible Disney magic. Just choose one and know that your future husband is going to think you're absolutely breathtaking in whatever you end up wearing...be it couture or corduroy. 

There is a great quote I read somewhere (no idea where) that I have taped to front of my wedding binder. I try to come back to this every time I feel like I'm getting swept up in all the unrealistic bridal expectations or unnecessary wedding "must-haves":

"At the end of the day, if you're married to your best friend,
then everything went according to plan."

And when you think about the dress through that scope, the magic isn't necessary. Have fun, feel beautiful in whatever you pick, and don't get down on yourself if your experience is lacking in rainbows and tears. Let go of unrealistic expectations and putting so much importance on an article of clothing. You. will. be. gorgeous!

singer's got a brand new dress!

With my morning off, I got productive and finally made the sewing machine cover I've had on my to-make-projects pile for months. My poor little sewing machine has never been properly cared for. In a serious way. If sewing machines had an ASPCA, you'd probably see me on cable TV being dragged out of my apartment with a black bag over my head. Sarah McLachlan will sing in the background as photos of my sewing machine pan across the screen, begging you to adopt it. But it all ends today!

I've planned for years to take it in and get it serviced, but I just never got around to it. My latest excuse is that it would be a waste to get it serviced since it didn't have a cover and would just get all dusty up in its gear-business again. Crafters win at this kind of procrasti-logic.

But today I did it, I made my poor little Singer a brand new dress. And boy is it cute! This is also my first and probably last foray into "pattern-making". To start, I whipped out my tape measurer and plotted a scale from every possible angle. This is what I came up with. It isn't super fancy and ended up being quite a bit too long, but that was a good call in the end.

Using the measurements on the pattern sheet, I cut out pieces from a lightweight cotton fabric I chose for the inside liner. As you can see below, I sewed the two side panels to the top panel first and the sewed on each of the sides.

Once all the panels had been sewn together (particularly difficult at the corners since I'm pretty much rubbish at sewing box corners), I put it over the machine to make sure I wasn't wildly off in my measuring. Just make sure you sew the liner so that the right sides show when it's flipped inside out and fitted into the outer piece. She seemed to realize what I was doing at this point and got excited by all the attention being paid to her.

Next, I cut the same pieces out in the outer, more sturdy fabric. I also did two lines of accent patchwork and appliqued them to the front panel. Once all the pieces for the outer cover were joined, I flipped the liner inside out and did some tiny hand stitches at each of the top corners and midway across the top panel, just to secure the 
liner at the top.

I put it back on the machine and realized I was about 1.5" off on the length. This ended up being a great thing because I reversed it, trimmed the excess inner fabric, then pinned up the outer liner over the inner fabric. I sewed the hem along the pins and then cut any remaining excess. Add some of the most awesome buttons I've ever found and been saving for years, then BAM! I am no longer a sewing machine owner-monster.

And it's done. Now I finally have no excuse not to actually take care of her. You can't tell in the pictures, but the outer fabric is a really pretty egg blue color and looks sweet in my room! Now excuse me as I go sew some more and sing "so happy togetherrrrrrrr......".

As a random aside, do people name their sewing machines? I feel like she needs a name. We've been through almost 9 years of life together (woah, 9 years...when did that happen!). So ideas? What's a good name for an inanimate object you love and can't afford to get a better one could never replace?

a shameless plug

It's my blog so I can post what I want to...post what I want to...ooooh.

Okay, so this is bit out of my normal subject matter, but I'm allowed a shameless plug for my super talented friends every once in a while. And today is that day! 

Meet....Kevan Chandler! (Come on down, Kevan)
Writer, adventurer, intellectual spelunker, and my friend.

His latest book is "Hargood and the End" and if you like zombies and wit (though it may be thin on witty zombies, come to think), you'll probably love it. The description on Amazon reads:

It's the end of an age, and just in time for the end of everything else too. In suburban South Florida, Warnie Hargood is walking his mail route for the last time before retirement when his customers suddenly start trying to eat him. With nothing to lose, the 85 year old mailman decides retirement can wait. He has a calling, a duty that will go unfulfilled if it's not done by him. At the end of the world as we know it, there is still mail to be delivered, and Warnie swore long ago that nothing would stay him...ever.

So check it out now on Amazon, available in print or for your kindle (boo e-readers). But yaaaayy for Kevan! So click here to check it out now!


*Disclaimer: Full disclosure compels me to let you know that due to my heart-palpating fear of zombies, Kevan is in full awareness that I will not actually be reading this book. However, I fully recommend him as a writer. Also, I'm not getting paid for this post. (hint hint Kevan!)*

project hexagon pillow...complete!

That's right, my first foray into English Paper Piecing is finally complete! After a ridiculous amount of microscopic stitches and a few months of being too busy to work on it at all...Project Hexagon Pillow is finally done!

I originally mentioned this project way back in February. The original picture used in that post was lost so I don't have the beginning bits to show you again here. If you're dying to see if, you can get a glimpse in the original post. 

I'd been seeing a lot about paper piecing and "cute hexies" on the sewing blogs I follow and I decided this would be a nice challenge to expand my needlework skill set. To get started, I googled "paper piecing hexagons tutorial" or something of the like and read about a million different takes all explaining very subtle differences of how to do basically the same thing. Instead of failing to accurately explain it myself, I'll refer you to these awesome tutorials for your viewing pleasure:
          Jay Bird Quilts hexagon tutorial
          Amy Gunson extensive hexagon tutorial
          FaveQuilts paper piecing tutorial

Sew (buh dum pssh)...after an inordinate amount of whip stitching to get all the little buggers together, my finished pillowcase front ended up being 9 rows by 10 columns (90 hexagons total). I decided on the fit by laying the ever-growing hexagon group across a 12" x 15" pillow form - just make sure to leave enough room for seam allowances and such...even if it means sewing an entire extra row of hexagons you know will mostly get cut off. Ugh!

Next, I chose a calmer grey polka dot cotton for the backing to balance all the crazy colors on the front. Add a zipper (another recently acquired skill you can see from the picture that I've yet to perfect), trim the excess - even though I was so sad to cut into all those hard-earned hexagons, flip it inside out, and call it a day!

Yay for finished projects! And yay for this colorful little pillow I use it during my reading-before-bed time. 

bridesmaid boxes

Helllooooo! Wedding planning is going very well and with unemployment comes lots of other projects to keep me busy (though hopefully the unemployed bit will be very short lived). I have fun pics from a few projects but today I wanted to share a project I actually completed quite a while ago -- my "Be My Bridesmaid? Boxes". I've seen this idea floating around the crafty internet space for a while, but since I decided to put my own spin on it, I figured I'd share. Plus, now that the girls have all received them, I can finally post without spoiling anything.

The main Pinterest ideas I saw were either boxes with all the wedding info (their dresses, colors, etc.) or more alcohol/time-for-the-girls-to-party based. Since I didn't have much of the wedding info at the time and since the latter is not my style, I decided to just create fun boxes with little treats for all the girls. Naturally, the first stop was a trip to Hobby Lobby!

I used inexpensive pulp board boxes as my base (less than $2 each). Then, I hand painted each box green with a soft white lid. With 2 pieces of scrapbook paper (the handwritten looking one and the pink circle - 10c ea), a little photoshop magic, and modge podge, I finished the lids with each girl's monogram. Add some hot glued lace ribbon and a blue finishing ribbon ($5) and you've got a great outside!

Next was the super fun part - the gift itself! First, I used a label from The Graphics Fairy and a little photoshop to create the inner lid label, more modge podge to seal it on. (For the record, only my sister's box said "Maid of Honor", the rest said "Bridesmaid".) Box goodies include:

     #1. small nail polish (confession...dollar store)
     #2. two teas (from my collection)
     #3. mason jar sewing kit: I had the jars already, got the kits for $3 at Hobby Lobby, and 
     used this tutorial to refinish the jar lids into pincushions with fabric from my stash
     #4. a heart-shaped cookie cutter from Hobby Lobby (50c ea) with a small green bow tied to it
     #5. a candle (dollar store) with a bit of leftover lace from the box lid hot glued to dress it up

Add a little sprig of silk flowers from a wreath I made last spring and a bit of tissue paper, tie it all up, and it's ready to go! The girls really seemed to like them (or lied cause they love me haha) and truthfully, each box cost less than $8 to make. It was a fun way to ask them to join the bridal party and a great way to start off my handmade wedding!

I hope you like them too and feel free to comment with questions if you want tips or ideas on making your own! Plus, do you remember all those crazy hexagons I was sewing when I wrote this post back in February?! Well, I finally finished that project and will be posting the results of my paper-piecing hard work later this week. Whooo! 

let the planning commence

Wow! Planning a wedding has so many moving pieces I never imagined before...and we're at the very beginning. 

I promise I won't just be posting about the wedding details in the months to come (got to keep some stuff a surprise for the guests!), but let me say...pinterest is awesome. And though I've been submitting job applications every day and hoping for something to turn up, I am enjoying looking through pages of wedding ideas in the meantime.

The major perk to all this craziness? --- It's super fun and ends with you marrying the person you love!!